Five turns around the earth ago, I fell into the abyss.

There was no light and nothing to grab unto  Days became years, minutes became generations.

No sun.

No moon.

Just sinking.

Just falling.

Until breathing halted. Somewhere

Underground, somewhere underwater.

Darkness turned into nothing.

Blind,

Deaf,

Mute,

Numb.. 

dead.

…

I have floated lately.

I have felt the sun on my skin,

Traces of warmth in my bones.

Sometimes I thread.

Years have turned into minutes.

And seconds into birthdays.

And sometimes if I listen hard enough,

I can hear myself screaming for help.

From so far down.

But I keep going 

I will make it to shallow waters.

…

My soul dormant and trodden By the sound of waiting,

Longing for darkness and anything cold enough to feel, No longer translates pain into love, Hurt into hope,

Sorrow into solace.

I am a beautiful syndrome of broken breaths,

Missing pieces, and tangled lies.

And everyday I rummage through the empty box that lazily beats from miles within the cage.

I once was found but now I’m lost.

I am leaps before looks.

I am as wrong as rain.

I am letting you come

While I go,

Deliciously insane.

…

I thought getting rid of them

Would help me breathe

But I was wrong.

Small little jackets of synthetic happiness.

Where did they get me?

Somewhat closer to healing

But a whole lot farther from feeling.

I am tired of pretending to be 

One way just to make everybody else comfortable.

I am a person too.

And to tell you the truth..

Your “normalcy” freaks me out.

So I wear my demons proudly, And that’s a party.

I won’t ever be late to.

…

And after all this time 

There was a plan for me 

Through the darkest hours,

Something I couldn’t see during my journey

Through all of the rain

Awaiting a sweet remedy I held on..

And at the end of the healing

He was waiting for me.